what the hell is going on????????
well this is the sum of my life with god the last few months. ive been a bit kind of out of it so to speak. as in not really careing about god and stuff. but the last few days ive found myself thinking about my situation and deciding what to do about it. i had a chat with a guy at church this morning and it helped a little to know that someone was there to talk to if i needed it.
basic fact is i suck.
i suck at being a christian. i feel like the most unchristian guy on the planet alot of the time. but im almost comfortalbele with that thats the worrying thing. but its like i know that god loves me as much now in my state of disgrace as he does in my state of grace that im sometimes in. its just shit basicly. man i duno, like i know whats right and wrong but cant seem to do right for being to much like keith that gets in the way. but then its like god knows why im going through stuff, and he must have a reason for alowing me to go through it. somewhere. after all i know what happens at the end of this life and i know whats gona happen to everyone. where will i stand?
does god expect me to be more like him, or is he amazed at the pitiful insignificant sacrificial things i sometimes manage to do like going to church reading the bible, praying. i duno.
i guess god what im saying is im shit come help me and sort me out. coz i need you. as does everyone they just dont know it or want to admit it. anyway ill report back and see how stuff goes in the next few days.
posted by keef at 1:43 PM
3 Comments:
God, I pray that you can wrap your arms of love around Keef at the minute, hold him close and walk through the good and the bad with him. Show him truths through reading your word and help him to hold on to those. Help us people around him to be supportive and guide him through this time, in Jesus name, Amen.
Here if you need to unload *hug*
4:13 AM
woah keefmon - thats heavy! don't know what to say except - More boys nights out needed!
5:39 AM
Man you've got to get out of the rut dude coz its not right.
You've been saved by the grace of God and no matter what you or I do we can feel safe in the knowledge of our ultimate destiny.
What you're feeling sounds a lot like guilt man and the way you're feeling is possibly out of wack. "If God had really forgiven me for what I do, I should not feel guilty." - That is Satans lie. So get it out of your system right now. Guilt is something the Holy Spirit uses to convict us of our sin. Once the sin is forgiven, the guilt is gone. You are saying, "No it isn't because I am still feeling it." Well, you could be giving Satan a route in by confusing Guilt (the conviction of Sin) with false Guilt (the after-taste of sin for which you have already been forgiven).
Psalm 103:12 - as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
Or in English - as far as east is from west, so far has he removed our SINS from us.
Can you imagine that when you ask for his forgiveness? Ask him and know that it is what he does.
Read this too - 1 John 1:9.
Man I suck at being a Christian too, and if you have the title of most un-christian guy on the planet... I will be the guy who looses by the tightest of margins to end up second from most un-christian guy on the planet.
But every day I have to remind myself that its not my doing.... but his. He forgives me, I don't have to perfect to be loved by God. I just ask his forgiveness (again) and have to resolve to listen harder and learn faster than my sins are not the way I should go.
Remember - when the guilt is gone, imagine what you could do with a clean start - and be the man with the clean concious and the Holy Spirit inside to tell you when you are treading a fine line.
3:20 PM
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