god stuff

ok sometimes lets face it alot of the time im not really doing that well at the god stuff (but hey who isnt??!!?!?) not that thats an excuse. why do we have such a hard time understanding that god loves us??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!?!?!? maby its coz we make ourselves unlovable? or maby we just think its too big a love for us. or just simply god cant love me??

i reckon if we even grasped the fact that god actually does love us. alot of the things in our lives would change and things that were problems wouldent be such a problem. i sometimes get worried and think about all the stupid sins ive done (i cant actually remeber them all suprisingly enough) and think man im boned. gods gona send me too hell. but thats just my stupid brain teling me the crap. have you ever wondered what god might say to you about your life? have you ever thought he might say. im suprised you didnt mess up more than i thought you would.

when wil we(i) get over the fact that god is not out to trip us up to catch us out to say "tut tuu not been reading the bible alot this week have you!!!!" i dont think god cares about the legalistic stuff. he wants our hearts. and if we give him our hearts all the other stuff will follow.

lord god help me to give you more of my heart. in fact my whole heart. coz in reality i dont and im sorry. please help me to do this. amen.